Sunday, April 22, 2012

Relationship Improvement Tips

Here are some tips for improving your relationships with others.

Rate your "people skills" on a scale of 1-10. Do others enjoy being with you? Do you give off good vibes and energy? Do you smile, make eye contact and really listen? Do you ask questions to keep 'em talking? Optimistic? Do you use manners and offer to help others? Take a step back and analyze how you interact with others. Every day, I talk with and see those who exude confidence, enthusiasm and warmth. These are the people I want to chat with over coffee. These are the people who know how to use their people skills to get things done.

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Be Fun & Interesting
Have a story and be prepared to share it. Tell of your travels, your early years, interesting facts you've read, unique life experiences that shaped you into the "you" of today. Purchase a family keepsake journal and fill in your info to pass along to future generations. Your great-grandchildren will want to know what you did for fun and work. Pass on words of wisdom and life lessons learned.

Relationship Improvement Tips

Take An Interest
How do you show that you care? Do you say the words or take action? A combo is the winner. Tell him you enjoy his stories as a lad and then invite him over for lunch. Tell her you appreciate her willingness to volunteer on short notice. BE SPECIFIC! Did she call you and offer words of sympathy when your loved one passed away? Did he offer to mow your grass while you were out of town? Telling someone specifically what they did or said will increase the likelihood they will do it again (for you or someone else). Talk about spreading some cheer!

Support Group
Who makes up your support group? Who can you count on to brighten your mood or to listen when you need to vent? Weed out those darn pessimists and those who tell you what to do. Thank those who you designate to be your support group by making a quick phone call or sending a hand-written note that will make you both feel good. Remind them you are emotionally available for them, too.

Give Them A Purpose
People enjoy feeling needed. Let your parents help you out financially. Let your neighbor drive you to the airport. You both will get some satisfaction out of the deal. Just remember to say "thanks". Don't feel obligated to repay the favor. Do good deeds because it feels good, not because you owe them.

No Regrets
One of the worst feelings is not saying/doing something until it's too late. Illness and death make people say things like, "I wish I had told him...." or "I never got to show her..." Don't let this happen to you. Make lists- people who you wronged or wronged you or with whom you did not have "closure." Contact them and forgive, apologize or get your closure. If they don't accept your apology, no worries, you did your part. Don't ever regret it.

Take Risks
Don't be afraid to tell others what is on your mind. Stop keeping your thoughts and worries to yourself. People feel bonded together when intimate thoughts are shared. Tell your adult children that you are experiencing health problems. They will want to help. Let them. Tell your religious friend that you are unsure what to believe about the after-life and how it is causing you stress. She'll listen.

Practice, Practice, Practice!
Athletes, musicians and public speakers constantly analyze how they could perform better. Put yourself in situations where you can practice your new skills. Smile at the clerk, compliment the mechanic about how he specifically fixed your engine, make a positive statement about the weather. "Wow, I really enjoy feeling that crisp air on my face in the morning. It makes me feel alive."

Be Responsible
If something in your relationship isn't working, it is up to you to fix it. Schedule a heart-to-heart talk. Discuss what is working, what's not and make a plan to resolve it.

Relationship Improvement Tips

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